Always Know Your Why

A few years ago, I squeezed in a very quick trip with some friends. For laughter and sun, down in Tulum. When I returned back to work. It was full on busy, preparing for the accountant and my board meeting in a couple days. Around three that afternoon, I got a very clear intuitive hit that said Grammy’s dying you must go there now!

My Grammy who was one of my favorite people. She was 101, and lived 1,100 miles and a 17 hour drive away. I called my Aunt Ruthers and told her what I felt/heard/sensed/knew. She said, “She is good, no need to come”. So confused, I called my Father and he happily said, “I’ll go! Come pick me up”.

I ran home, grabbed the most random clothes and started driving to pick up my Father, a few hours away. Along with hundreds of semi trucks. I proceeded to drive straight through every rain and sleet storm through the night, pulling over once to shut my eyes for about 15 minutes. 

When the sun was rising over the prairies of Wyoming, about 250 miles away from the Black Hills.

I looked down at my phone and saw a text from Ruthers. Grammy had died.

I pulled over. Reached my right hand across to place on my Father’s heart. And said, “I am sorry, we didn’t make it in time.” We then cried. And laughed and told stories for the next three hours about our love for Grammy.

My Father called her twice a week. And I had a routine for more than 15 years to call her every Wednesday at 4:45 pm. We would normally talk about the moon and what she had been up to, or just chat about life. I looked forward to my Wednesday chats, as they gave me such joy. It took about 14 years of them before Grammy finally said, “I love you, too, Dear”. And I remember absolutely beaming, like I had won the lottery! 

When we got there we went straight to the funeral home to say our goodbyes. And plan the service with Ruthers.

The next morning, I got up really early and saw a text from my Aunt Ruthers. That said she was in the hospital. So I woke up my Father and we drove as fast as we could. The doctor told her she needed surgery immediately for what we thought was her appendix. It turned out to be full on cancer (she died less than three months later). We then watched her somehow talk the doctor into letting her out to do the service the next day.

My Father and I both spoke at the graveside service, and laid my Grammy’s remains to rest in the ground. After lunch with everyone. We then had to turn around and drive back home. As I had some important meetings, that I couldn’t miss at work. 

Devil’s Tower in Wyoming is a little off the beaten path.

Grammy always said you need to drive back a different way, or if not its, well, boring.

Since I was a kid, I have always loved the sacred land. As many first nation elders do their vision quest ceremonies there. Fasting, drumming and tying their prayer flags around trees surrounding the rock formation.

It was important for me to go there and circumvent it. As the last time I was with my Grammy and didn’t want her to have to sit in the car. So I didn’t. I was being called to do it, one more time. 

Knowing we were in a hurry and the park was closing soon. We paid the fee and drove up to the parking lot. There were only a few cars left in the lot. And I drove up as close as I could to the trail entrance. Knowing my Father’s bad knees and time was of the essence.

When I opened the car door. The car next to us was opening their’s. And she very unhappily said, “Why did you have to park there!?!?” 

I briefly paused thinking about everything we had just gone through in a little over a 48 hour period. How my Father had just lost his Mother. And was about to lose his only Sister and Best Friend. And the lack of sleep and long drive ahead, etc. For a quick second, I thought about explaining everything to her. (Girlfriend, do I have a story for you!)

But I proceeded to lock the car and in a matter of fact voice calmly say, “Because I wanted too.”

The thing is I knew my why. And sometimes even though it might seem that the world doesn’t understand you, or your motive. The most important thing is always to be true to yourself and be in alignment.

Where are you not being true to yourself, or out of alignment? Reach out, I can assist in getting you the confidence and knowing, to realign you back to your why. 

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